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Hey there one and all! Right then first off - sorry for not being in touch with you for a while but I've been down in the south of Laos lazing around on the Si Phan Don Islands where there is no electricity so no internet... After that I was in Pakse and frankly a directionally/geographically challenged blind carrier pigeon would have been faster than the internet there! Anyway, after we tore ourselves away from the white wine of Savannaket we headed off to Pakse where we spent a day or two and visited the Bolaven Plateau where they grow the really scrummy Laos coffee...We managed to hire a van and driver at pretty short notice and headed off for the day and visited a tea plantation first and had some green tea and then went to an ethnic village where they usual weaving finery was on display.... and then went on to Tat Fan waterfalls before spending the rest of the day at Tad Lo resort where there's a really gorgeous waterfall and it looks like a really cool place to hang out for a few days by the falls and the river.... We were hoping to go on an elephant ride but the elephants are sick or have got something wrong with their feet so they were resting.... After Pakse it was another packed to the rafters truck ride on a razor blade to the Si Phan Don Islands in the very south of Laos which were awesome really gorgeous and relaxed. We did however manage to stay on the truck too long and miss our stop and then we hired boats to take us back and only Olwen and I noticed that the boat drivers were taking us still down river (boys were oblivious) so we kinda new we were gonna end up in totally the wrong place! Anyway it turned out to be a bit of a result, as instead of Don Kong Island, we ended up on Don Khon which was absolutely gorgeous... we got a bamboo shack on the Mekong for 5,000 kip each (that's about 30 pence to you's lot!), so me and Olwen roomied together (well any woman who carries her own portable ashtray is completely worthy of sharing with as far as I'm concerned!) The islands are really gorgeous and not only a handful or tourist go down there so we chilled... Olwen and I went on a reccie around the island and found a beach!! In a land locked country that's a bit of a find but it's by the Mekong but had lovely sand so we hung out there for a while and then wandered over the bridge to Don Det Island where we met this crazy man called Si Tung who had converted what can only be described as a huge lawnmower type tractor thing into a train!!! This is also the only one in Laos in the loosest description of the word! Anyway there used to be a train here years ago when the French were around but since then the tracks have been taken by the locals for other uses...but Si Tung decided to revive the locomotive era and built this really funky train and it just happened to be the inaugural journey of the train and he invitied Olwen and I for a free ride. So we hopped on and bounced our way down what used to be the train track, waving at the locals and watching them double over with laughter at this really dodgy looking train...when we reached our destination we stopped and chatted some more and told the guy he had to give the train a name as it was customary to do. He asked us to name the train so I came up with the Sabaaii Di Express! So he's gonna name the train that and paint it on and he took our names too... So I apologize now to anyone who may in future venture to Don Det and ride the tacky train... and anyone who reads about the really rather cheesy Sabaaii Dii Express in future editions of the Lonely Planet you can send all hate mail to me as Olwen and I are responsible for the naming of the train!!!! At around 6 p.m. the islands are plunged into darkness except for a generator and a few candles so we chilled out and then Lillie's tummy went on strike or rather it didn't and after 7 months of travelling I landed up with my first dose of the s***s!!!! Of all the places - maybe it had something to do with the local "produce" or maybe they made the ice out of Mekong Water but this left me with the necessity to never be too far away from the bathroom and having to sleep with my torch next to me in case of the need for a Linford Christie style sprint to the bathroom in the middle of the night!!! Yippee!! Hurrah for Immodium is all I can say but when one end is closed then the other is open for business so I had an interesting few days let me tell you....So for the next few days it was no food or steamed rice and water Yummy! This also put the dampners on my participation in Olwen's birthday celebrations and I think I managed 2 cokes before going to bed around 9.30 while the others went off and got completely mashed which I was gutted,literally about!!! So sorry Olwen! Inbetween doses of Immodium we did manage to take a trip out to the area where the rare Irrawaddy River Dolphins live and we did se them although in the distance as the photos will prove.... I'll just call them spot the dolphin!!! But it was a pleasant enough trip for the afternoon and we got to visit a really impressive water fall too.... After the islands it was time to say goodbye to some very hanging looking bodies as Olwen went back to Vientiane, Belinda and Zoe headed back to Thailand and Fil and I headed for Cambodia and Oskar stayed on the islands for a couple more days.... The morning after the night before Fil and I headed off to the border and then the drama really kicked off as the immigration guy at the border told us we could not cross into Cambodia from there and basically told us to sod off! No amounts of protestations and offerings of money was budging him and he told us the border was closed and had been for a month... so thanks very much Holy Planet... He also told us that if we crossed there the Cambodian immigration would demand $500 from us to stamp our passports!!!! So we were now literally stuck at the very end of Laos and that was that....as luck would have it a truck pulled up just as we were about to be ejected from immigration so we hopped on that along with 3 baskets of really smelly fish, all the flies that go with it and a very scary looking lizard tied under my seat that I still can't really be sure was alive or dead! Given the evening before's events Fil was looking and feeling particularly rough and with my constitution being non existent we were in for an interesting few hours back to Pakse....Anyway the truck filled up and more fish got on along with a few humans and then I think the driver must have taken pity on our sorrowful faces as he invited us to sit up front. The age of chivalry is well and truly dead as Fil took the remaining seat and that left me in the back again sitting with a lizard, 5 baskets of fish and a few humans for the remaining 3 hours....while Fil promptly fell asleep all the way back to Pakse! Grrrr!!! Consciousness in Pakse was only brief enough to find a room, get some cash eat half a bowl of noodle soup and then I went to bed.. got up for a couple of hours around 6 p.m. and that was the end of that day.... Next morning it was time to say goodbye to Fil as he was heading off to Lao Bao to head into Vietnam and I had to go back into Thailand to try a different route into Cambodia..... The next two days were spent crossing into Thailand from Pakse and making it as far as Nakorn Rachasima on Tuesday...got there at 11.00 p.m. after spending an afternoon in some dodgy Thai town. The bus journey was quite amusing as there was a bunch of bitching lady boys on the bus and they were squabbling about something and it was kinda funny to see (and you think women are bad!)..(sorry Bex no postcard as I left early next morning!) From there it was on a bus to Aranya Prathet via Kabin Buri and a bus full of SAILORS !!!! Hmmmm so that was kinda nice, and then to Aranya Prathet it was back to puking Thai people..... I finally made it to the border and decided to head for Sisophon from Poi Pet as the Holy Planet warns against travelling at night and all that jazz... the Thai/Cambodian border is like a cattle market and stacked full of people milling across the border pushing cartloads of produce from one country to another... then I got accosted by two Cambodians who piled me on to a plank in the back of their pick up truck and for 200 baht drove me to Sisophon... Now the road between the border and Siem Reap is a total and utter nightmare and when I say this it is no exaggeration... it is not so much a road as a dried up mass collection of potholes. I think they have put every pothole in Cambodia on this road and you and literally flung around every half metre or so for 150 km there is no respite and when you're sitting on a plank in the back of an open pick up eating dust and feeling like shit to boot this is not funny at all ! (Well maybe now it is marginally funny!) At one point I did consider just ending it all...added to which the road conditions do not deter the drivers from going like the clappers anyhow. All I can say is thank you Dan for all those years of telling me to sit deep and not squash Mrs P as it helped so cheers darlin'!!! From Sisophon I decided to completely ignore the Holy Planet and head to Siem Reap my philosophy being it was only three hours away and once I was there I could realax and chill out and recover from..well...just about everything.... OOPS! BIG mistake! HUGE! The road was exactly the same only now flooded in places and that equals mud and being the main "road" that also means trucks use it and that means trucks get stuck in mud!!! There was a Cambodian guy on the truck who spoke a tiny bit of English so we got each others names and jobs ( I was a helicopter pilot as I haven't been one of those yet and felt like it to amuse myself!) He force fed me dumplings which under normal dietary conditions I would have bitten his arm off but given the current situation it was, eat dumplings = swallow Immodium! You would think that by now the naivety of travel would have worn off and I'd remember that 3 hours means at least 5 but oh no...Needless to say the 3 hour journey turned into 7 (one of which was spent parked at a flooded area while we watched the whole world and it's wife try to budge 3 trucks that were stuck and blocking the road!) At one point I indicated my incredible desire to scream and I was told perhaps it wasn't a good idea for bandits!!! I could however, slit my wrists or hang myself as long as I did it quietly.... Eventually we pitched up at a market just outside Siem Reap it was around midnight by this time and this woman got off and they proceeded to start to unload the entire contents of the pick up onto a stall that belonged to her!!! Then a guy on a motorbike turned up (and I have absolutely no idea where he came from!) and asked me if I needed a guest house.. "well yes I do but drugs would be preferable at the precise moment"... anyway he told me he could take me and my new Cambodian buddy to his mate's guest house in Siem Reap and it would take about 20 minutes or I could wait until the truck was unloaded in about an hour.... I remember that my Mummy always told me to not go off with strange men and decided to go!!! So me, this guy Paul and random Cambodian blokey pile on to the back of his bike rucksacks and bags too and head off into the darkness and what I hoped was the general direction of Siem Reap.... We made it to the guesthouse and it is really smart and I got a room but only after they tried to put me and random Cambodian guy in the same room and told me to sleep in there with him... erm I think not!!! And I'm still there although some of the guys who work there are in desperate need of a few cold showers and I'm glad there's a real hefty bolt on the door! Yesterday they were threatening to take me to a Cambodian nightclub but I managed to avoid that but have promised to have one beer with them tonight... And that was my nightmare journey from hell to get here.. but now I'm here it's a really funky town and I'm well impressed.... Yesterday has to be one of the highlights of trip so far as I was up at the crack of sparrow fart to go and watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat and then I spent the rest of the day there touring the ruins of the other monuments that are spread out over an enormous site and it was just awesome.... Anyway I'm gonna tell you lot more about that in my next email as I've gotta head off now and pick up my boat ticket to Battambang which is tomorrow's destination and another early start....Please note the word "boat" I'm making it a mission to avoid roads at all costs now!! Anyway, time for me to chef - take care y'all and catch ya in a few days or so when I'll fill you in on Angkor and Battambang..... Praise be to Immodium! Loadsa love Lisa / Lillie xxxx
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