Apologies for the length of this one you'll see the reason why a bit later!!!
Anyhow back to the beginning. We left Mt Abu and arrived in Udaipur and headed straight for a hotel recommended by Lalit at Mt Abu. Recommended as it has a pool! So we spent literally the first four days lazing around the pool and doing very little else other than sunbathe, swim and get more Om shanti!! The hotel was rather expensive by our standards at Rs 175 a day (GBP 3.0) however for this I got an amazing room with huge bed, en-suite bathroom (that is posh!) and a great window area that has mattresses and cushions and a small table really plush!! The room should have been Rs500 but as the manager needed my old room for storage I got it at no extra charge! You could tell it was a proper hotel by the supplies of loo roll, towels and soap!!!
The day after we arrived Neil arrived too from Abu and stayed a couple of days by the pool with us before setting off to Pushkar... We eventually managed to tear ourselves away from the hotel and found something a little more our budget at Rs 70 a night - back to the quid a night mission!!! My room's still great though and the family we are staying with are really friendly and sleep on the roof.... were it not for mosquitos I'd have joined them!
As is a must when in Udaipur we managed to suffer our way through the cheesy, corny, stereotypical Octopussy (part of the film was shot here!) and it was fun to recognise the buildings they used. However, I never have any desire to see the film again... As an extra bonus though we managed to chuck in another Bollywood called Lagaan meaning "tax". It is well funny and would totally recommend that you all watch it (please note it is irrelevant that you don't understand Hindi!) It's set in the days of the Raj and the local commander dude tells the locals and the maharajah that they have to pay double tax but there's been no rain and they're already suffering so the villagers go to plead their case. Anyway the local commander is a total arse and ends up setting a wager that if they beat the English at cricket they don't have to pay tax at all for 3 years... So one of the guys in the village accepts the challenge and the process of cricket training begins.. all very funny. But anyhow, the arse of a local commander has a sister (and you'll never guess who plays her??? Right then those of you who watch TV, you know the Brita water filter commercial where there's that real sloney couple and she's either working out or just come home with armfuls of shopping and "that's my lovely cup of tea"???? Well it's her and she's crap!) She basically decides her brother isn't being fair and decides to help them, falls in love with the village bloke who's not in love with her but another girl from the village bla... bla...and so it goes. Anyway I'll not tell you the ending (coz you've got to watch it) but it's sooooo funny particularly the actual game itself. Although given the current British cricket performances the British score is hard to believe!!! Another Bollywood classic - I shall miss them! Lagaan was the one they were hoping was going to win an Oscar!*!!*??*?! hmmm...
Anyway back to Udaipur the friendliest place
I've been. It is known as the Venice of the East and the romantic city. I can
certainly see why as the city palace
complex is truly awesome. You get the
best views either from the Lake Palace hotel that looks to be floating in the
middle of the lake and looks stunning lit up in the evening.. or by taking a
boat ride round the lake. Amrita and I took a trip yesterday evening and took
tons of photos (will be on website at some future point) and then we went to Jagmandir Island where more of Octopussy
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was filmed. We took in the sunset
from this island and the views across the lake are simply stunning. On the
boat on the way back it looked as though thousands of birds were swirling over
the lake but it's only when you get close that you realise you are sailing
through thousands of huge bats that are taking water from the lake. The trees
to the south of the city palace are full of thousands of them..
We have also visited the city palace complex itself that is just amazing. The complex
is the largest in Rajasthan dating
back to 1658 and has been added to over the years by the maharajahs. Part of
it is now two rather plush hotels, the Fateh Prakash and the Shiv Niwas (the
latter again was used in Octopussy and is stunning). The palace museum is full
of the usual artifacts and the most amazing mosaics on walls of peacocks and
stained glass and mirrored rooms highly ornately
decorated and furnished with the most amazing furniture and cloth. We spent
quite some time wandering around the complex and the museum and to be able to
afford to stay in there or the Lake Palace must be just amazing fun... all you
would be honeymooners out there should consider here as a destination!!! Wow!
We also visited a restored haveli previously built by a former prime minister. Again these buildings are wonderful and intricate and centre around an open air central courtyard. I have decided I'm going to live in one!!! If I ever have a permanent residence again!!!
The people are really friendly and don't give you too much hassle so it's been a great place to stay and round up my Indian experience...
The other amazing thing we've done is spend 4
hours on an Indian cookery course learning the
traditional mixes of spices and
what to use with what and how and when to add it etc...it was great fun
although a bit expensive at Rs 300 each. We learned how to make dal, sweet
tomato curry and we made the most delicious stuffed eggplant that was just to
die for yummy! We also made nan and chapatti and the girl who taught us, her
mother said I had good hands and was good at making nan.. a real compliment
from an Indian woman, (with no teeth!!). I also learnt how to make chai so
beware you's lot. I'll be forcing it on you when I see you next. It's
basically milky tea which is sweetened and with ginger, nutmeg, black pepper,
cinnamon, cardomom and it is YUMMMYYYYY!!!! I also had a bash at making puri
which is made with cornflour, shit loads of chilli and spices then rolled and
flattened in your hands into little patties and deep fried...equally as
yummy!!! So we are now armed with the "secrets" of authentic Indian cooking
skills and I can't wait to cook it all again. I don't need a fancy kitchen as
I have discovered that squatting on the kitchen floor for four hours is the
only way to prepare Indian food!!
So I am leaving Udaipur tonight at 6 o'clock for a 12 hour bus journey back to Delhi. Should be fun!! Amrita also leaves tonight and heads for Bundi but we're going to meet up in Delhi in a few weeks as she leaves on the 14th and me on the 12th. I have an overnight stay in Delhi and then on Saturday morning I am on a flight to Nepal.
As time is fast running out I have decided to fly there and save time, so it's been a bit expensive to say the least but this way I get 3 weeks in Nepal before flying back to Delhi and on to Hong Kong...I am finding it hard to believe I've been here 2 months already and only have a 3 more days either side of the Nepali trip left in India, the time has simply flown by. On Saturday I'll be in another country!!
So in honour of my visit to India I have penned a bit of my "poetry" about the place to give you all an alternative insight into the Indian way.... A lot of you will be familiar with this but for those of you who aren't good luck! It's certainly not Shakespeare....
AN ODE TO INDIA!!!!
I've lost the plot on Eastenders,
Haven't a clue about current affairs.
I'm missing Marmite like crazy,
And don't care about grey hairs.
I must be on another planet,
Destination definitely unknown.
Where you constantly have the feeling,
You're stuck in the Twilight Zone.
So welcome to India,
And here's the impression of mine,
Everything costs ten times less,
But takes ten times the time!
They say you love it or hate it,
Of this there is no doubt.
Many have landed in Delhi,
And booked the first flight out.
A country you never get used to,
Wrapped in a polluted haze.
The kamikaze actions of drivers,
Will never cease to amaze.
For on the roads in India,
There is but one traffic rule.
Ignore all signs and directions,
And drive like a demented fool.
So this is India,
It operates at break neck pace.
And don't take it personally,
When they belch and spit in your face!
It's as stunning as it is filthy,
As rich as it is poor,
And wherever you wander,
You hear "Hello maam you want rickshaw?"
The land of a billion plus people,
The majority are oggling men,
Where slums, wealth and Bollywood mix,
And children ask for "One school pen"
Pre departure questions were asked,
"Why on earth are you going there?"
"It's full of freaks and weirdos"
And "What will you do with your hair?"
And then the other comments,
"You're crazy! And don't eat a bite"
Or repent at your leisure,
"You'll be on the loo all night!"
Contrary to such opinions,
I've eaten it all from Thali to aloo,
And not yet once experienced,
The need to go sprinting for the loo!
But oh how some have suffered,
With the famous Delhi belly tum,
Tales of days in bathrooms,
While the world fell out their bum!!
The toilet stories you hear,
From travelers will amaze,
And how it stank like rotten eggs,
And losing 2 stone in four days.
And so I happily praise,
My constitution of an ox,
And thank my lucky stars,
The lid's still on the Immodium box!
The country operates on baksheesh,
And the shop owner's commission.
"Hassle every westerner"
Is the rickshaw wallah's mission.
The men are complete juveniles,
Like teenage western guys.
Don't even bother with India,
If you don't want constant, staring eyes.
Tum kya dekh raha ho,
Is Hindi for "What are you looking at?"
I've still yet to learn how to say,
P*** off you letchy Indian pratt!!
And when you frequently happen upon,
A group of Indian guys,
Here's a little trick I've learnt,
A word from the wise.
Charge one rupee for "Which country?"
Ten rupees for a photo,
Five rupees for every other question,
Or tell the buggers where to go !
The guys they have a method,
To this oggling and questioning farce,
While one of them asks all the questions,
The others will pinch your arse!
They will all want "Please one photo?"
Of you with all their mates,
Here's your chance to cash in,
And charge celebrity rates!
But be warned there is a moral,
This is how the episode will end-
The photo will travel round India,
"Look see my English girlfriend!"
And now I move to shopping,
And the prices are so, so low,
Beware resourceful shop keepers,
They really won't let you go!!
Only look if you are serious,
And see things you want to buy,
Be fully armed for haggling,
And countless gallons of chai!
And when they tell you their price,
Tell them they're having a laugh,
Take their "best price" they tell you,
And start at way below half.
Most are used to us tourists,
With cash and no time to spend,
And every single one of them has-
"Special price for you my friend!"
Never buy carpets or pashminas,
From any Kashmiri man.
As you will soon discover a label-
Saying "Made in Taiwan"
Even when you have no intention,
Of buying a single thing,
Don't be alarmed at being dragged off the street,
And still shown everything!
These rules apply to shopping,
Through the country far and wide,
And on many, many occasions,
You'll want to run and hide!
The other joyous experience,
And how you will spend much time,
Is trying to buy a travel ticket,
You'll spend hours in a "line".
And where I say "line"
Please read "rugby scrum".
As once involved, you are fair game,
For the staff to have some fun.
You can't believe the joy you feel,
As you barge to pole position,
But this will only be the start-
Of a highly frustrating mission.
For you certainly will be told,
"Madam you are in the wrong queue"
And with a flick of the wrist you're told-
"Madam please go to counter number 2"
In the queue for tourists and freedom fighters,
And about to hand over your cash,
"Madam you must come back tomorrow"
"You see my computer it has a crash!!"
So next day you return,
Determined to achieve the aim,
The unhappy sod behind the desk says-
"Madam no room on this train!!"
So you ask if there's another,
To transport you from A to B,
"But Madam you ask at information"-
"Go to counter number three.."
Now the person on information,
Is truly the grumpiest as a rule,
They eye you up and down then tut-
Another "gora" tourist fool!
You're lucky to get an answer,
That is succinct or true,
They feed you some old bullshit-
And send you back to counter number 2.
So armed with new information,
You head back to from whence you came,
And join again the back of the queue,
For another round of "Madam your good name?"
By this point it's fair to say,
Maybe two hours have passed.
And now the end is in sight-
You're at the front at last.
You hand over your form,
And then comes the crunch-
"Madam must come back at 1.15-
We are now closing for lunch!"
This is why all the clerks,
Are behind security glass,
Because if you could reach them,
You'd want to kick their ass!!
Then finally you get the ticket,
It's in your hand at last,
There's an amazing sense of elation,
As you're entire life hasn't lapsed!
Yet amid all this craziness,
And fickle beaurocracy,
There's beauty and wonder abound,
And a mind blowing country.
330 million gods and goddesses,
Views that take your breath away,
Colour, vibrancy and gracefulness,
Will greet you every day.
Plenty of fantastic kind natured people,
Who will treat you like a queen.
Gorgeous cities and temples,
The most stunning you've ever seen.
I've met the most amazing people,
In the street, on the bus or train,
And this I can safely say,
I'm definitely visiting again.
But now this chapter is over,
My Lonley Planet is in bits,
Yet I proudly say I spent 2 months there-
AND NEVER GOT THE SHITS!!!!!
If you've made it this far well done! That's all for now folks from India...next email will be from the Top of the World!!!
Loadsa lurve and keep smiling.
Lisa/Lillie
xxxxx